Kim's Prayer

"We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed." --2 Corinthians 4:8-9

Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Riding the Shuttle Bus!

O.K. this can not wait! I'm busting to tell this story! Tonight, Mark and I took the shuttle bus to get something to eat. We are staying in the Rotary House which is connected to M.D.Anderson. So everyone on the shuttle is a patient or with a patient from M.D. Anderson. On the way back a girl from Equador got seated next to me. We got to talking and she proceeds to tell me about her mother. In Equador on Dec. 22 her mother went to the Doctor because she was having a hard time breathing. Long story short, they found a tumor attached to the bottom of her heart. They were able to operate in her country but had to leave some of the tumor because of the bleeding. They sent her here to see what they could do. She has had every test they could do and the tumor cannot be found. It is gone! Did you hear me the tumor is gone! My mouth just dropped open. I said you mean it is gone? "Yes, It's gone. " God still makes miracles! I asked the girl what she thinks about the situation and she said, You have to pray a lot.

Here I go!

Well, Here I go! I'm so nervous I can hardly walk. This place is so huge, M.D. Anderson employs about 63,000 people. O.K. I just glanced at my watch and it is on upside down. My tour director is telling me we have to go.

Love to all,

Monday, January 30, 2006

I'm here

The day finally arrived and we are in Houston! I told Mark as I began to pack that it felt like '“The Great Escape'” party in college when you packed your suitcase and took it to the party with you in case you won the trip. The problem is you didn'’t know where the trip was going. I do know where I'’m going but I don'’t know what to take, how long I'll be there or what 70 degrees is really like. Is 70 degrees short sleeve and a jacket, or long sleeves. Can any one out there identify? O.K. I will stop rambling.

God is so good and this morning he proved it again. I always tell him he better write it on the side of a barn if he wants me to get what he is trying to tell me. No, I did not see something on the side of a barn, although I would not put it past God. But, when I heard the news that I was going to have to fight the cancer battle again, on one of my many trips to the storehouse, I picked up Stormie Omartian'’s book "The Power of The Praying Husband." This book has prayers that the husband prays each day for about a month for his wife. I could not wait to share with you the prayer that was to be read for me today. It was my protection! I am quoting the last paragraph of the prayer written by Stormie that was to be prayed today. "Our greatest effort can'’t keep us well forever. Even on the best teams, the quarterback still gets sacked. God knew this, and that's why He sent Jesus as our Healer. So ask for healing on behalf of your wife. And don'’t stop praying until you see an answer. We can't afford to give up too soon when it comes to our health." After each chapter she has a Prayer Power and in the Prayer Power, it says to pray that when she passes through deep waters, You will be with her, when she passes through the rivers, they will not overflow her. When she walks through the fire, she shall not be burned nor shall the flame scorch her (Isaiah43)

My devotional for today was out of the 'One Year book of devotions for women' by Jill Briscoe. The title for the Jan. 30 devotion was 'Going Around Jericho.' I can tell you that it is so possible to laugh and cry at the exact same time. Because I did! One particular sentence got hold of me. Until that great day when our particular Jericho falls, God grants us the perseverance and the endurance to go "once around Jericho" with our God and fellow travelers in the faith-believing that however high the walls, fortified the gates, or strong the enemy, it's only a matter of time. I think we all will agree God is revealing himself over and over again. He has led me to particular scriptures over and over again. What caught me in that sentence is the word believing. We have to believe. Not just say we believe, but heart, soul and mind believe that his plan is perfect. Believe that this cancer in me is part of his plan, Believe that he loves my children more that Mark and I do, Believe just like Abraham did, just like Daniel did, and Joshua. This is not new stuff, The only difference is it's cancer and not a lion or Goliath. It's every bit as scary. I pray every day and night 'God please help me believe.' I believe in God, that's easy. What's hard is believing 'is anything really too hard for God?' The answer is No!

Thank you God for giving me a man who will pray for me and that loves me 4 children later and bald.

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

God is good all the time and all the time God is good!

It is so hard to "blog" something after God reveals himself like he did in the last post. I mean what can you say after God has spoken! Anything I could even remotely begin to say, I just think O.K., what's the point.

I do want to tell the ladies in my Wed. morning Bible study how much I love you guys. You have been there from the very beginning when I received the phone call the first time! I still believe it no coincidience our study that particular morning was Peace. Please blog me if Beth says something I need to hear--or one of her Big Texas hair comments! As far as I know everything is on go for Monday. I will blog from Houston. I am getting a bit anxious and just ready to get going. Keep your comments coming, I love them and so many others have commented how they are drawing strength from people they don't even know. I can feel your prayers they are undoubtly giving me the peace beyond all understanding.
Love you all. Kim

Friday, January 20, 2006

He's Listening!!!

Well, he was listening to you today. My appointment has been scheduled for January 31st at 9:00 a.m. I'm so ready to get the ball rolling, or as the kids would say; let's get this party started! We'll have to be there until at least Saturday, maybe into next week, they say plan to stay 5 to 7 business days.

When I write something, most times I have felt very strongly about writing what God wants me to write. I'm not a journalist nor a preacher, although my kids would argue the latter lately. I just want all of us through this journey to become better, and challenge ourselves to do something (with God) that we never thought we could do. Lots of you have mentioned my Faith and inspirition. It's God carrying me every step of the way. It's interesting because when I feel my well start to run dry, he will reveal himself again and remind me he is God and I am not, and I fall in love all over again.

Several days ago my Dad was on the phone and had mentioned some scripture verses that he wanted me to read. I quickly jotted these down hoping to get to them after the kids had gone to bed. Well, that was about 3 days ago. Today in the pick up line I had just a few minutes before the kids were to get in and I called Dad to ask him what those verses were. He read them to me over the phone and was still reading as the kids were getting into the car. By the way, the bell rings at 3:05. The kids were busting to all talk so he told me to go home and read. As I walked in, I noticed a blog that had been sent while I was gone. It immediately caught my eye. "The Lord is the everlasting God. The creator of the ends of the Earth." To steal the words from my sister drumroll please...That was the exact Bible verse my Dad was reading to me over the phone around 3:05 and Karla's post of that same verse is at 3:08. NOW THAT IS GOD! I get so excited, He knew I needed to hear him today. God is so good.

I called my Dad and told him he better sit down for this one. I told him this story and and we both just couldn't believe the timing. I hung up and walked outside to talk with a friend, and told her the same story. As I'm walking in, my phone started ringing. Its my Dad. I answer the phone. On the other end I hear "You're the one that needs to sit down this time." He had cleaned out a bookshelf today, and after talking with me, had gone to put the books back on the shelf. He put several away and noticed one with a bookmark in it. He opens it up looks down and what do you think he sees..."The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but thoes who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."

I could not make something this good up. God is the best high you can get. Please let him put you on one.

Houston, we still have a problem!

Would somebody please phone God and tell him we are getting a bit impatient. When you know when my appointment is, will you let me know. They say laughter is the best medicine and my prescription is running low!

Still waiting, Love Kim

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Still Waiting!!!

I still haven't heard anything!! I promise the minute I get my marching orders I wil let you know!! Just keep praying, because I know prayer works. It has been nice to have this week and just be normal, whatever normal is around the McNabb household. The kids did not want to go to bed tonight because after watching American Idol, they think they are the next American idol. I love hearing from you guys! It's been so great to hear from so many people from so many different phases of my life. I can't even begin to express how humbling it is and how grateful I am for each of you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all the support you have shown me. With so many people supporting me, I'm encourged that I can beat this thing. So many people have expressed how awesome M.D. Anderson is. I feel very confident about going there and I am anxious to hear something from them. Thanks for checking in, we'll talk soon.


Monday, January 16, 2006

Waiting is the hardest part

O.K., the waiting is going to put me over the edge. I have to tell you yesterday was hard. Gray and cold outside and I found myself hearing things I did not want to hear. I spent so much time trying to heal myself that I did not find joy in the day. I tried to take the wheel again! (I love the song by Carrie Underwood," Jesus take the wheel") I went to bed mentally and physically exhausted because I tried to do something that, not matter how hard I try, I cannot do. I guess sometimes we have to live something before it becomes obvious what God is saying to us. Like, when he says "Come to me all you who labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest," Matthew 11:28. Why is this so hard? It is so easy to say yes, 'I believe in God.' I know he died for my sins, was beaten up for me, crucified and died for me but, we say "I'm sorry Jesus, I just can't give this particular problem to you, I know what I need to do better than you do." We are so human, and God is so not. I realized the blog has in some way become my 'Diary' which some of you may not understand but, boy it is so theruputeic for me. Thanks Jonesboro. Don't loose joy in your day today, because you're worried about tomorrow. Be strong, take heart and wait for the Lord. Psalm 27:14. I read this saying one time and I have always loved it: His help is always sure, His methods seldom guessed; Delay will make our pleasure pure; Surprise will give it zest. His widsom is sublime, His heart profoundly kind; God is never before his time, And never is behind. Take God to work, coffee, mowing the yard and find joy where you find yourself today. I'm gonna try to do better today! I love you guys. Thanks for listening.

Thursday, January 12, 2006

Houston, we have a problem.

Wow! What a day. To sum it all up, I'm headed to M.D. Anderson in Houston. We're just waiting on the date when I can go and see these guys. As one of my doctors said today, the first chemo treatment we used "we were swatting flies with a sledge hammer." They're a little surprised it didn't work, so now we're going to find an even bigger sledge hammer.

While initially, it sounds horrible, I was really encouraged by their comments. They both really feel like it's treatable, it's just a matter of finding the right mix of drugs. So if there is one prayer I'd ask for, it's that the doctors do find that combination, and the lymph nodes begin to shrink. I have another appointment with a doctor tomorrow for even more input. The more the better. We'll be home Friday night and we can't wait to see the kids.

PS. If you haven't had a mammogram, go get one. The technology available today is incredible. At least check yourself out, and don't give me that "I wouldn't know it if I felt it" excuse.

Keep marching

When I called my friend Donald with my news of the Cancer he told me I needed to start preparing myself mentally and physically for a fight. I loved the analogy then but, the more days and the more Doctors appointments that come and go it is becoming clear to me what he means. This morning I feel like I am going into a fight. I do not want to go because every time I go I feel like I get beat up. They say scary things they of course have to say, but none the less, things that you feel like your legs won't carry you across the room. I loved what one blogger said about being in Joshua's army. You know how scary the opposite army is and you know in reality they can win, but that is when you go back to the Bible and read With God all things are possible. God just asked them to show up and march, I wonder if they were scared too? However, they kept showing up and kept showing up and marching. I read some of your blogs from some of you that I know what your fight is, and some of you I don't know, but what I do know we all get the fight of our lives sometimes and really all we have to do is keep marching. I'm not naive to think that sometimes God says no, but sometimes he just wants us to trust him to keep marching.

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

my Little Rock appt.

I met with Dr. Laura Hutchins today. She is very highly respected among her peers and I feel privileged to have gotten a chance to meet with her. She's both a teaching and research physician in oncology and so she has a real clinical view of this disease. She suggested some chemo that Dr. Scroggin will look into. The best solution, hopefully, is that Dr. Cross can remove it and then we can start radiation and chemo combinations.

Until we meet with Dr. Cross in Fayetteville, we just really don't know what the next step is. With your continued sweet prayers and support, I'll be ready to take it.

Love, Kim

Monday, January 09, 2006

God always reveals Himself if we believe

Look at this picture I found recently

Wow! I'm overwhelmed with all the wonderful words of encouragement and all the love and prayers that I can truly feel. I'm so blessed! The blog was intended to let you guys know how things are going and to kinda let you know if I needed anything. I quickly realized that when people are sharing straight from their heart that everyone who reads these blogs is receiving such a blessing. In my last round with cancer, call me crazy but I saw God reveal himself in so many different ways. There have been many times I thought O.K. God there you are again. Well, let me tell you he did it again today. I never cease to be amazed by his wonderous ways. Believe this or not but here goes.

I keep all my photographs in a little container down in the den, well over the Christmas Holidays the kids had gotten into the pictures and they of course were everywhere. I had asked the kids to pick them up and they had at least tried. When I came into the den this picture here of me and a couple of my buddies from a trip I took four years ago to New York City stood out. It was in front of the little church at the 9/11 Site. I immediately noticed the cross that appeared to be sitting on my shoulder. I thought how neat, and noticed the verse that is on the banner right behind me Isaiah 43:2. I quickly ran to my Bible and even showed my mom and read the verse to her. It reads like this...When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire,you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. You can see in the picture the part of the verse when you walk through the fire, you will not be burned. It really did bring me comfort that day. Well, today I ran into the Storehouse to pick up something and turned around and Carol Cone was standing there ordering a book. As we were talking, there was this little ceramic loaf of bread with Bible verses in there. I bet there were maybe 50. I just reached down and randomly picked one. I nearly fainted. I read When thou walkest through the fire thou will not be burned. It was one of those moments when I thought O.K., God you are just letting me know your still there.

I had left my cell phone in the car and noticed when I got back, there was a voicemail from my sister-in-law. I immediately called her to tell her about the Bible verse that God had wanted me to hear today. She was silent I thought she didn't hear me. I bet you can guess what Bible verse she had just read this morning in her Bible: Isaiah 43:2. Take it for what it is but I don't really believe in coincidence but I do know that God is good all the time,and 4 years ago he knew I needed that verse for today.

I have an appointment with Dr. Laura Hutchins in Little Rock tomorrow at 12:30p.m. She has come highly recommended by both my Doctor here and in Fayetteville. I truly hope to know more after talking to her about what the next step is going to be.

I'm not sure now If they will be able to operate or if I'll just start the chemo. Pray for safety and wisdom for the doctors so we can have peace with the best treatment they see fit. Will let you know what I find out tomorrow. Kim

Saturday, January 07, 2006

in my quiet time

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on our own understanding. Someone else sent me the very same verse in a note yesterday. I too was listening to K-love and will do a lousy job paraphrasing this, but basically they said when you live your life for Christ you better hang on for the ride. Mark and I both joked we would like off the ride for a few minutes or days maybe. We sure don't know why or what he is up to, but I do know his plan is perfect. He didn't say go now and have a good time,as a friend put it to me in the pick up line the other day, he says in Matthew 16:24-25 "if anyone would come after me he must DENY HIMSELF and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it. Man I'm exhausted just reading it. When I go back and read what I've written it sounds like I'm so brave and strong and not afraid of this. So let me just clarify something I am scared to death but trying so hard to cling to the Lord with all my heart and lean not on my own understanding. Carol Cone and I have a saying we use quite often: this is not our home. Tell the ones you love how much they mean to you and I think God is smiling on all the people sharing how good God is and supporting each other. I believe it is what He intends.
Much love,

Clarifying things...

I try my best when I'm listening to my doctors to really understand what is going on in me. Of course, after the words cancer and chemo, things always seem to get fuzzy, so I hope you know I'm trying my best to relay what I think I'm hearing to you in the most accurate way I can. The more I learn, the better I'll be about posting this stuff.

I'm lovin' this blog thing

Wow! I feel like I can conquer anything now with God's help--hey I learned how to blog! I've realized I have been a real inspiration to my brother-in-law. He wants a blog of his own! I woke up this morning and for a brief second, I forgot what was happening in my life. Reality starts flooding my thoughts. I asked God for complete and total healing and I refuse to believe otherwise. All I have to do to be uplifted is come to this site and read your kind, encouraging words - not once, not twice but over and over and over!!!!! Thank you!


P.S. Chris, there's a LITTLE cinnamon thingy still left if you want some!

Friday, January 06, 2006

The results are in from the CAT scan

I just got off the phone with Dr. Scroggin and here is what's going on! The scan shows 4 or 5 lymph nodes under my pectoral (underarm/shoulder) muscle on the chest wall that are suspect. After Dr. Scroggin consulted with the breast surgeon in Fayetteville, I'm going to go to Fayetteville for another MRI and to discuss a possible surgery option. It may require removing part of that muscle. Chemotherapy is in my future, but they're looking to other specialists to consult the best possible scenerio of drugs.

My appointment in Fayetteville is next Thursday and Friday. We're just now trying to make arrangements for the trip.

I want you to know how much faith and confidence I have in my doctors. They're awesome, and if you see Dr. Carol Scroggin, Dr. David Phillips or Dr. Mark Newman out and about, please tell them thanks for taking such good care of me.

I also want you to know I want to hear from you. Write here or call me. You'll never know how much your kind words and thoughts mean to me and my family.

I've laughed and cried and then laughed and cried some more. Most of you know me, so it's a pretty typical day around our household! ;)

I love you all, and will post more later. Kim

still waiting

You can't believe how your kind words and prayers are sustaining me! I just walked in the door from the CAT scan after grabbing a bite (the barium bananna smoothie just didn't do it for me). I promise I will let you know what they tell me as soon as I know. I'm nervous about what they are going to say, but no matter what they tell me I'm here to fight!

My PET Scan results

I know this may seem a bit over-the-top with a web site, but I feel so blessed that so many people have responded the way they have. For those of you who know me, you know this is in no way to glorify myself or my children, but to relay information to so many wonderful people who want to know how I am doing.
So here is the PET scan results from Thursday. It is a good news bads news sort of thing. The good news being it is not all over my body! The bad news is it is in some lymph nodes in my shoulder area. The PET scan really only shows if there is cancer in your body and llghts up red where it is. So today at 11:00 a.m. I am going in for a CAT scan that will show us a more detailed area in my shoulder and be able to tell us more about what we are dealing with. Please continue to pray for me. I know prayer works-I've seen it daily-and I will fight this fight as long as I have to.

I set this blog up for Kim... that she can share information she's getting back from her doctors (and hopefully you'll continue to share your thoughts and prayers with her).

Thank you for your prayers and concerns. You cannot fathom how blessed we feel for the prayers we've received. --Mark

She'll take it from here. ;)

Kim and the kids