Kim's Prayer

Kim would be 41 tomorrow

2008-06-21T12:11:00.003-05:00

We've put our house up for sale, and in the process of going through and cleaning, I found a journal I was not aware Kim was keeping. It had a list of the ten things she'd learned through her battle with cancer and was written shortly before she passed away. It is classic Kim, so I thought I'd share on the anniversary of her birthday.

10. I'm stronger than I thought I was.
9. I have more friends than I thought.
8. Even if you have the time, daytime TV is no good.
7. Not much going on is a good thing.
6. Simple things are the best.
5. Friends and family are better than losing... [can't make the rest out]
4. God has not gone away even when you don't feel Him.
3. God provides for small and large problems.
2. Prayer WORKS!
1. God is God, He can do whatever He wants.

Faith and Purpose article

2007-12-09T13:18:00.002-06:00

Article about the blog and book from "Faith and Purpose."a local Christian newsmagazine. (Link has been discontinued, content no longer exists online)

Kim's Service

2007-10-03T20:39:00.001-05:00

I've posted the funeral service here on YouTube.

It's been broken down into 11 parts for easier viewing. I've had so many requests from friends and family unable to attend, or had heard about it, that wanted to see it, and this was the only way I could think to make it available. God's Grace abounded in that Sanctuary, and in that hour.

Mark

The Blog is now a Book

2007-09-26T15:55:00.000-05:00

Kim wanted to see her blog turned into a book for her kids. At nights while I was at the hospital with her, I converted it into a book that you can now purchase here.

It was therapy for me, and she did have time to write the dedication to her children.

Twenty dollars will go to the two memorials she chose with every book purchased. As publisher, I receive a quantity discount starting with orders over 12 books, so if you may be interested in a larger order, please contact me at the email address listed on Kim's storefront.

Thank you, and God Bless.

Mark and the kids.

Oliver, Jackson,Lehman and maryclair here

2007-09-19T20:37:00.000-05:00

are family wants to thank every one who helped us in these three years

Kim's Arrangements

2007-09-19T11:52:00.000-05:00

Visitation will be from 5 to 7 p.m, Thursday September 20th, at the First United Methodist Church Chapel in Jonesboro, Arkansas. The church is located at 801 S. Main St, downtown.

Funeral services will be held at the First United Methodist Church Sanctuary in Jonesboro, on Friday, September 21st, at 4 p.m.

Kim would like you to consider memorials to two organizations that were close to her heart, and will be instrumental in helping to continue to raise our children, as well as many other children, in the Christian faith:

The Ridgefield Christian School Building Fund
3824 Casey Springs Rd, Jonesboro, AR 72404

The Youth and Music Ministry programs of the
First United Methodist Church in Jonesboro
801 S. Main, Jonesboro, AR 72401

I love you, forever

2007-09-19T06:10:00.001-05:00

(Kim passed away this day at 4:53 am. Kim could tell through the night some days ago that things had taken a turn for the worse, and dictated this last blog entry to me so that it could be published upon her passing).

There are no words that could ever convey the heartfelt love and kindness that you've shown me and my family through this and how much I appreciate it. Every prayer, every card, every note and every blog posting was a blessing to me. I know I will not be in pain anymore because I choose to trust the Man that gave his life for me and I know I've played a small part in God's plan.

I've been thinking for some time now, with all the events around the world that seem to point to the end times, that Jesus has called me a little ahead of the crowd to prepare me as a greeter for Heaven. I'll be a natural with my Flight Attendant skills.

I want each of you to know, that even though we all prayed for a different outcome, God's Word never failed me. I was always reminded that even Jesus prayed that 'this cup would pass,' and it did not.

For that, we are ALL Saved. And I pray I see all of you soon.

With all my love,

Kim

Kim was transfered to St. Bernards

2007-09-13T09:49:00.000-05:00

Kim has been admitted to St. Bernards hospital this morning.

Mark

My great little weekend

2007-08-27T06:19:00.000-05:00

It's really weird how the pain is. It is almost as if you get it under control and then--BAM! from out of the blue, it is something else. Or, this seems to be how mine is, but my nurses have said as the cancer grows, that is just how it will be. The hospice service is wonderful. What a gift these women are. They are literally a phone call away, and come by to check on me often. Just pray I can keep my pain in check. That's a biggie!

Everyone seems to be holding together the best we can. You know God can do anything! This weekend, with the kids at home, I was a little nervous. It was the most peaceful time together. The kids seemed to get along so well--and get this--my sister got to come to Jonesboro! What a gift. We climbed up in that bed and my mother got to take care of both of us in one place! You could tell that was what she had been wanting to do from the beginning. Mark has my oxygen mask tethered together so when I feel like it, I can get around the house. He did tell me he draws the line at me being able to reach the Mall. I love you all sooo much. Everyday, new fears and strange thoughts invade, but I'm trying so hard to just keep my eyes on Jesus.

Love to all,
Kim

In trying to make sense of this

2007-08-20T06:21:00.000-05:00

A poem I read this morning during my devotional spoke to me.

Does Sorrow lay his hand upon your shoulder,
And walk with you in silence on life's way,
While Joy, your bright companion once, grown colder,
Becomes to you more distant day by day?
Run not from the companionship of Sorrow,
He is the messenger of God to thee;
And you will thank Him in His great tomorrow--
For what you do not know now, you then will see;
He is God's angel, clothed in veils of night,
With whom "we walk by faith" and "not by sight."

I'm so overwhelmed by all of your love! Thank you to my sweet friend for allowing me to spend yesterday with my sister. I wish there was someway I could tell you how much that meant to me. As Mark and the kids walked into church yesterday, "Everlasting God" was the opening song. The special music was Mercy Me's "Jesus Bring The Rain."

I don't really have to say much more do I?

Love to all.
Kim

Home from the hospital

2007-08-17T08:07:00.000-05:00

I got to come home from the hospital yesterday and oh what a good feeling getting to take a shower in my own bathroom and sleep in my own bed. Oh the little things. I had been scheduled for a chemo on Tuesday and just was not in any shape to take it, and according to all the scans, it wasn't working anyway. My doctor felt the best place for me was to try to get a little stronger in the hospital. I was having a lot of trouble with weakness and catching my breath. After reviewing all the scans, they have started me on radiation to try to shrink some lymph nodes in my lungs so the air can pass through a little better. The radiation will last about 2 weeks.

I can't tell you how much all your love, prayers and support have meant to my family. When I came home yesterday and read all the posts, I felt so much love, I just cried.

It is really weird where I find myself right now. It seems almost not real but I know it is. It is funny how I guess you picture your life and so many times it just doesn't turn out the way you thought it would. I guess the most difficult part now is I'm such an active person, and it is very weird when you're worn out just getting to the bathroom and back. It gives you a lot of time to think. God's ways are sure not ours, but when you get to this place all you can do is trust Him. Trust Him with all your fears and that my family will somehow be very strong Christian men and women because of this.

I would also like to thank you guys for all the love you have showed for my sister. Her surgery is Monday and I think she is anxious to get it over with. My parents are doing great and will be heading up there Sunday. I will do my best to keep posting. There is no doubt in my mind that God has been in this from the beginning and I know He is not going to leave me now. Continue to pray for me and my family. I don't even know what to tell you to pray, but God does, so just leave it up to him.

I pray God will touch each one of you today in a way you can have no doubt it was him.

Love to all,
Kim

Hospital stay update

2007-08-15T18:01:00.000-05:00

It's amazing what a little bag of fluid pumped into the body can do for you! Kim is feeling much better today. She got zapped with her first of 14 days of radiation to shrink the lymph nodes around her windpipe. It should make breathing easier. She's getting good rest and we're hopeful she'll be feeling much stronger when they release her tomorrow.

Kim gets the "K-LOVE encouraging word of the day" by email and today's was the Scripture at the top of this webpage (2 Cor.) We're always amazed when we see God's I.V. drip his assurances into our life.

We're blessed by the many thoughtful words and prayers you've extended to our family. Thank you.

Mark

Update on Kim

2007-08-14T14:28:00.000-05:00

Kim is not having much success with chemotherapy, so the doctor has taken her off it. The lymph nodes in her throat are causing her breathing problems, so she's been checked into the hospital here (today, Tuesday 14th) to run tests and prep her for radiation on those nodes, which will hopefully ease those problems. She should only be in for a couple days.

I'll try to post more when I know more.

Mark

True story to share

2007-06-15T08:48:00.000-05:00

One afternoon, while Mom and Dad were on their way to Jonesboro, they decided to stop and purchase some one cent stamps since they had not had time before leaving Benton. They stopped in a small town on the way. I'm talking Population about 75. When mom walked in, she noticed the postal clerk just starring at her. Finally, the woman remarked "you look so familiar." Well, those of you who know my Mother, know that was all she needed to go through the last 60 years of her life trying to figure out the connection.

The woman finally recognized my mother to have been the nurse that assisted the doctor's delivering her baby 28 years ago. The woman ended up needing a C-section and since there were no doctors available in this small town, a doctor had to be flown in who was qualified to perform the procedure. The woman was knocked out and my mother began praying over her.

When the woman woke up, all she saw was my Mother praying. She still remembered thinking "I know everything will be alright." Just a case of coincidence or chance? You will never convince me of this.

A letter was waiting on mom when she returned home. The woman in the Post Office wrote that before she had left for work the day she ran into my mom, she was wondering "if today would be any different than yesterday" and asking Him "do you hear my prayers? You don't even have to answer, but just let me know you hear." Only a few hours later was when my mom walked through the door of that small Post Office in the middle of nowhere.

God confirmed He hears our prayers. He showed this woman that He has been listening to her all along. We may or may not ever know how our actions will affect others, or how our prayers effect others lives. The woman told mom "you prayed for my son 28 years ago and I have now been given the privilege to pray for your daughter." I know he's listening.

My newest new plan

2007-05-24T07:36:00.000-05:00

Making new plans. The trial at M.D.Anderson did not work out. I believe with all my heart everything happens for a reason and God wanted me home. I have started a new drug and all my treatments will be here. Every other Tuesday I will go for the medicine and on the off week, have my lab drawn. I had my first round Tuesday and I'm feeling good.

God never closes one door without opening another. I'm home now with my family and right where I'm suppose to be.

What a Blessing

2007-05-08T21:06:00.000-05:00

"Everlasting God" is a popular song on Christian radio that ends with a child speaking the verse I cling to; Isaiah 40:28-31. My church Praise band leader, Shawn, knew that and put it in the worship service. The night before Church, his wife called to see if any of my children would like to recite that verse. My 8 year old, without pause, said "sure."

Here it is. I hope it brings you as much strength as it does me.

Struck down, but not destroyed

2007-04-26T18:19:00.000-05:00

No, the news was not what I wanted to hear. The medicine did not work and the cancer has both grown and spread. They have now put me into a clinical trial. The chemo I will receive has not been FDA approved. The trial is to test how much can be given of this particular drug for the most effectiveness. Hey, I may have green horns coming out my head, but I guess if it slows the cancer, so be it. I will be getting the chemo in Houston because they have to monitor me for any reactions. Also, being a trial, they have to draw my blood alot. Please continue to pray for me and my family.

Through this whole ordeal God has shown himself mightily, this week being no different. Today right now in this very minute, everything is perfect. My life is great and I would not trade it for anything. It is peace beyond understanding, and today I choose to rest in it.

We did it!!!!

2007-03-05T06:21:00.000-06:00

We finished the marathon. 26.2 miles is a long way in 7 hours and 45 minutes. My hat is off to all runners. Thank you to you guys who took the challenge with me. I love you all. Yes, there were some awesome women in the Rock Sunday.

26.2

2007-03-03T06:54:00.000-06:00

Psalms 26.2 says "Test me, O Lord, and try me, examine my heart and my mind."

Tomorrow, I'm going to try to walk the 26.2 mile Little Rock Marathon. Our team, and printed on our shirts, is named Isaiah 40:31. "but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles, they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." You might remember that more than a year ago, I had decided I wanted to do something that I never imagined in my life that I would do--and that was to run a marathon. I may not be capable of running one, but it doesn't mean I can't walk one.

It's not about crossing the finish line, which I may, or may not accomplish. It's about the journey and being with the ones you love. Its not about finishing by a certain time, but about being solely in God's time. The only way I fail at this is not trying.

And no, Blair is not making me do this. I'm making me do this. I'm doing it because I can. Even youths will grow tired and weary, they will walk and not be faint. One of the first things Oliver said to me when we told him my news was "I guess you're not going to run a marathon now." I don't ever want my children to think that just because circumstances might not be completely right for doing something, it shouldn't give them an excuse to not even try.

We all must rely on a source higher than ourselves for our strength in this race of life. We were all made with a certain number of days on this earth. Matthew 6:25 "and who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?" I want to walk in God's time. The safest place to be is at the feet of Jesus Christ, walking in his footsteps, and relying on him for all our strength.

My fight is back

2007-02-02T15:26:00.000-06:00

As most of you know, Mark and I traveled to Houston this past week for my three month checkup. As good as I have been feeling, I had no reason to believe that my news would be anything other than good.

Well, good news is not exactly what we got. My cancer has come back and come back it has. It has spread to both of my lungs and is back in the original place around my collarbone. It is small right now, but very active. The plan is to start an oral chemo and then every 2 weeks along with the chemo, I will do a drug called Avastin intravenously. Avastin is not a chemotherapy but a drug that helps to block what the cancer is feeding off of.

The plan right now is to travel back to Houston in two months do all the scans again and see where we are. My cancer will never be cured, but there are good chances of controlling it. That is my prayer right now, that we can contain it.

I will tell you no one is more surprised than I am. Mark and I were shocked to say the least. My children know nothing right now, but we plan to be very forthright with them. I want to be honest about the outcome of this whole thing, and in the mean time, will be praying for a miracle. God is in the business of miracles and after all Romans 8:24b, 25 NIV says " But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently."

I will continue to blog how I'm feeling. These drugs I will be taking should not make me to sick. One thing we are going for here is quality of time, not quantity. We have all seen the wondrous ways our Saviour Jesus Christ has revealed himself through this whole journey and I have no doubt that our experience this time will be no different. So lets sit and watch how our Saviour reveals himself this time. It will be an emotional and spirit filled time to let God show us "The Great I Am."

Home again, home again, jiggity jig!

2006-09-30T10:48:00.000-05:00

So happy to report I'm Home!

I cannot even begin to tell you what it is like being home with my family after all was said and done the last 7 weeks. I could literally do a jig. However there was no time to jig because I came home on Friday late and Mark had to be out of town the following Monday on business. This past Thursday the 3 boys had to be 3 different places all at 5:30. I picked out the nicest looking person I could find and told them "Lehman is mine, I'll be back to get him!" I then took another child across town to Flag Football practice. The thought occurred to me that by the time Mary Claire is his age, I will be telling her to just walk home--you'll be fine.

I knew I had to blog and let you know how I was doing. Which I'm happy to report I'm feeling great. I have not felt this well in a long time. Praise the Lord! I do not have to go back to Houston until October 24. They will do some blood work and they say from this blood work they will be able to recognize if something is going on in my body that should not be. I'm claiming complete healing.

While in Houston I kept thinking this would be the last blog. I would tell you how God had healed me and that would be the end of it. I figured what more would there be to say.

Well, as we all know, Our God is an awesome God, and I can't wait to tell you how he ushered me out of Houston.

One night before I even knew I would have to be in Houston for radiation, I had a dream. It was a dream of a beautiful sunrise or sunset--at the time I did not know which. All I knew was it was so beautiful with the most vibrant and rich colors of orange, blue and black. Right before I woke up, it was like I was looking at a picture of me and my family with the sunrise or sunset in the background. My family looked exactly as we look now. While in Houston, I had to do some physical therapy. On the last day of therapy I noticed a postcard of the most beautiful sunrise in the background. I kept thinking that looks like the sunrise in my dream. As I was leaving I walked over to look closer and written underneath was written: 'My God turns my darkness into light.' Psalm 18. I didn't think much about it at first, but on the walk home I thought "God, is this what you're telling me? Have you once again spoken and I'm not realizing it?" When I got home and read Psalm 18, I could not believe how it spoke to me. I clung to this for the following few weeks. (It's a long one, so you'll need to read it.)

Well, the big day finally came. I get to go home. In seven weeks I had collected so much stuff I could not get it all on an airplane. Needless to say my sweet parents drove to Houston to pick me up. (After Mark drove the trip with the kids he said he would never do that again, and so far, has stayed true to his word!) As we were driving away with Houston in the rearview mirror, my dad's devotional books were in the seat back pocket in front of me. I sat there for a minute thinking "I wonder what today's devotional is?" Almost afraid to read something--afraid of what it might say. As I picked up The Upper Room, a daily devotional guide, there it was, September 15, 2006, Friday. Not only was the daily scripture for the day Psalm 18:28 "You O Lord keep my lamp burning; my God turns my darkness into light." The daily scripture is always accompanied with a suggested reading. The reading was Isaiah 43:1-7. Which you will recall was the verse he gave me in the very beginning of my blog adventure-- "When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned, the flames will not set you ablaze."

I nearly fell out of the car and I think I scared my dad to death with my Praising the Lord in the back seat of his Mazda. I will say it again and again, our God is so good.

I am not smart enough to make this up. He knows what we need so much more than we do. So back to the thought this will be my last blog--probably not. I will not post everyday and I'm not going to say every week. I want the life God has for me, not one I create for myself. With that being said, what I do know about our God is this--if I'm living the one he is giving me, it will not be boring. So, as my friend Blair always says "if God has given me something, it is not mine to keep, but God's to give away."

I'm claiming my dream as a sunrise. A beginning to a new day and a new beginning to a life full of blessing that only he can give away.

It's about blog-gone time!

2006-08-19T19:53:00.000-05:00

I've had so many people say Blog! Blog! that I figured I better. As of today (August 18th) I am half way through my 6 weeks of radiation. I am feeling better than ever and can tell no side effects as of today. I think the hardest part has been the mental part. When I'm home I am so busy with the kids I don't really have time to think about cancer. However, in Houston all I have is time. I'm surrounded by some very sick people and it is easy to start to focus on some very negative things. Where the chemo takes its toll on you physically, I think for me, the radiation has taken its toll on me mentally.

I will say I am beginning to settle into a routine and it is becoming easier. Once again I'm reminded every day just how lucky I am and you just don't have to look far to see someone in far greater need than myself. I have met some very interesting people along my journey. The woman I sat next to in the waiting room Friday has 4 sisters and 3 of them have breast cancer right now.

A woman whose appt. is around the same time as mine was diagnoised just weeks after her husband was diagnoised with prostate cancer. My friend Marta is from Puerto Rico. Her family is still in Puerto Rico and she has used every single one of her minutes on her phone card that was supposed to last her 6 weeks. She suffers from a brain tumor and the radiation has made her very sick. Sounds depressing yes--and it is--but in a weird way, it is one of the neatest places I've ever been. We all know we are where we need to be. In a place where "We're Making Cancer History" is written every where you look. God is mentioned in a conversation every day. And the word Hope is written on the hearts of most people I come in contact with.

I overheard a woman the other day say she never has questioned God about why she has breast cancer. She just simply said why not me? I must say I'm much more selfish than she. I dread going back but I know I have to. The day I left to go to Houston the K-Love encouraging word for the day was "no matter what happens this is God's will for your life." Sometimes His will is not exactly where we think we want to be but, it's really the only place--and the safest--to be.

I'm back home!

2006-07-10T16:50:00.000-05:00

I'm so glad that is over! The surgeon says that she is very pleased with the way everything went. She said it was challenging because of some scar tissue left over from previous surgeries, but all in all, it went very well. She believes she got everything she was going in to get and did not have to cut into that pectoral muscle very much (Although she did have to take out a little).

I'm doing great! My arm is sore but just being home makes a huge difference. I'm actually surprised at how well I'm doing. The next step for me is going to be radiation. I have to go back to Houston in 3 weeks for a follow up on my surgery and that is when I will see the Radiation Oncologist. I feel like the radiation will start very soon after that visit and will last for 6 weeks.

I will have to remain in Houston while I am getting my radiation. It's gonna be O.K. because 6 weeks is better than 6 months and I've come this far, so I'm not stopping now. Thank you so much for your continued prayers. I'm so blessed. I will keep you posted.

Love,
Kim

Today's the day!

2006-07-07T07:56:00.001-05:00

Today is Friday and the day we have been praying for. I have to be there at 8:30 and the surgery is going to be around 11:00. I'm her second case. At this point i'm just ready to get this over with. Pray that she will get everything she needs to get and will not have to cut my pectoral muscle.

Thank you all for your continued prayers. I'll let you know how it goes. Pray that when I wake up from this I'm cancer free.

Kim

Headed back to Houston

2006-07-04T06:37:00.000-05:00

The time has come that we have been praying for. My surgery is Friday! I'm not looking forward to this in the sense that I don't want to have surgery but I so want this cancer out of my body. I'm a little nervous but I know God will give me the strength and courage to do this. He has been so faithful this far he is not gonna leave me now. Pray for me that all goes well with the surgery and that it is very successful. Pray for my parents and children that God will keep them safe. I pray everyone has a happy and safe Fourth of July! I will let you know how everything goes.

Whew!

2006-05-27T07:40:00.000-05:00

I have deceided I sure like good news better than not so good news! As you read in the previous blog the chemo worked! Not only did it have a significant effect on the cancer, but the cancer was almost gone. Yes, you read correctly, it was almost all gone.There was only one node left that seemed to be active. We got home at 2:00 in the morning on Friday and at 10:00 that morning, I took my next to last chemo--for awhile anyway. I have to do one more next Friday and then I'm off for awhile.

The plan right now is to have surgery on July 7 and remove the nodes and I guess whatever else they need to remove. After I have healed from the surgery, radiation will be the next step. I don't reallly know how long or any details about the radiation, but will just do whatever they tell me to do. After the radiation I think there will probably be more chemo in the cards, but Praise God there is light at the end of the tunnel. God is so good and he has answered our prayers in so many ways. I feel so happy. I feel like the guy on American Idol when he turned around and saw Clay Aiken standing there!

I just want to say THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart for all the prayers, love and concern. "The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective."-- James 5:16. The word perservence has a whole new meaning to me as well. You know it would not be the blog if I did not tell you a God thing, so here it goes:

Mark and I had met with the surgeon on Wednesday afternoon. She had told us that she would like to do surgery since my body was responding so well, but that she would have to get what she called "a round table conference" together. Well, I didn't realize I would be part of the round table conference. On Thursday. as we were going to my scheduled 1:30 Doctors appointment, airline tickets in hand and a car waiting to take us to the airport, we passed the surgeon. Now you have to realize how big this place is. 40,000 people across 4 buildings. As we passed her I said hello and kept walking. She walked on by and turned around and said "I'll see you at 4 o'clock." That's the first we'd heard of this meeting. Mark rushed back to the hotel and got us re-booked on a later flight and we made it just in time for my 1:30 appointment. Had we not just accidently bumped into the surgeon, we'd have missed the next critical step in determining a plan to get rid of this cancer. I could go on and on, but reallly what is left to say is What an Amazing God we serve. We have to keep believing!

We got good news!

2006-05-24T16:16:00.000-05:00

The latest combination of chemo worked! It made the cancer smaller and now we can move on to the next steps! I'll meet with the oncologist tomorrow and work out what I'm going to have to do next: more chemo? surgery? radiation? what order?

At least there's progress! God answers prayers!

Mark and I are going out to grab a bite and enjoy hot and humid Houston. Thanks for all of your prayers. They're being answered!

pray believing!!

2006-05-19T16:12:00.000-05:00

Today was the last day of school for two of my children and they could not be happier. We had one of the end of year parties at our house today and most of the day there were about 25 third graders in our pool. The water was sooo cold and not one of the kids cared. They pretty much stayed in the pool all day.

Now that the party is over I'm starting to focus on next week. As I was going through some of Lehman's end of the year papers, his journal entry last Monday was pray believing! I'm turning up the heat! No room here for one single thought other than complete healing. I want to pray believing and thanking God for my complete healing. My platelets were a little low today so pray they will come on up! Pray for safe travel to Houston and back and for my Parents and the kids while we are gone and keep on Thanking God for my complete healing.

I'm hearing the shouts already praising God for what he has already done! In fact I'm, praying that everyone reading this blog will have their prayers met this week. God knows who you are and what we want. We are living in Gods favor and we are living abundantly! The only person who can rob of of this is ourself by not believing! I'm fired up now! BELIEVE, BELIEVE BELIEVE! I can't wait to go because I can't wait to hear my good news! Please blog this week how God is answering your prayers because he is going to!

It's been awhile!

2006-05-02T09:01:00.001-05:00

I realize it has been awhile since I've blogged, so here is a llttle update! I have received 2 rounds of my new chemo drug and have 2 left to go. My plans are still to go back to Houston on May 23 and they will do all the tests again and see where we are. I will admit the news in Houston was not what I wanted to hear, but as I said before, it could have been a whole lot worse.

I haven't blogged in awhile because I did not know what to say. It always seemed so obvious before, and lately, it seems as though things have been quiet. I have loved reading some of the blogs about when I was little. Now I know where My kids get their little mischievious personalities. I thought it interesting the day I got one from McCrory FUMC (where we lived in the 70's), the K-love encouraging word for the day was Psalm 71:5; "For you have been my hope, O Sovereign LORD my confidence since my youth."

Growing up we moved around a lot, and I will admit for a young (mischievious) girl this was not easy. Just about the time you felt like you fit in, it was time to go. I did not understand at all why I was the one who always had to move. Looking back now, it was always the best thing for me. Opportunities I would never have had if I had stayed where God did not intend. It made me who I am today, and I think my cancer is doing the same thing. As horrible as it is. It is making me who God intends me to be today. I look back at that little girl in the 2nd pew and God knew then that I was gonna need more than one church family to pray me out of this and shape me into what he wants me to be. It is never easy but I think I'm gonna look back someday and realize it was the best thing for me, and was all somehow part of his perfect plan.

I'm coming home.

2006-04-12T22:35:00.000-05:00

I’m sitting in the Houston airport waiting for my flight home and I’m trying to process the news. It was not what I wanted to hear, but it could be worse. The cancer did not respond to my last chemo. It’s more active and they did a biopsy of a small mass in my neck. All still in the same general location and not showing up anywhere else.

They have put me on a new chemo drug combination that I will be able to do in Jonesboro and start Friday. I will get 2 doses 21 days apart and then come back to Houston for the same round of testing. Keep praying for my complete healing. I will not give up. As long as I have breath I will fight and continue to Praise God through the storm.

One more to go!

2006-03-18T07:15:00.000-06:00

I went yesterday for my next to the last treatment and I feel great. I'm starting to get a little anxious about going back to Houston in April. April 10-12 to be exact. I feel so grateful to God that I have felt so good and have been able to just carry on as usual. From some of my blogs and comments from others, I guess you have picked up on my new endeavor. Running!

Learning to run, and I do mean learning, is everything I'm not. It's a journey that takes time, discipline and a strong positive mental attitude. It is a journey. A journey that I have to invite God along the way everyday. When I first learned of my second bout with Cancer, I just wanted it to be over. I still do. While I'm running I just want it to be over. I'm learning that life is a journey. You have to invite God along the way everyday. The path is sometimes more fun than others, sometimes a little warmer than I wish. But, I'm learning if I enjoy the scenery along the way before I know it I look up and there is the finish line. Sometimes God's gift may just be the journey itself. I don't just want to take in the sweetness of the finish line, I want to enjoy the run. Hebrews 12:1 "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us."

Much love to all,
Kim

Romans 12:2

2006-03-12T21:52:00.000-06:00

I'm still feeling good. I got my 4th treatment on Friday and I can tell my hair is starting to thin more, but Hey, I got so much hair I can afford to lose a little.

This has not happened in awhile so I thought I would share this "God thing" with ya! Last weekend Mark and I went to see my parents and on the way down I was reading a book given to me by a friend. In the cover of the book the author had signed her name and written Romans 12:2. "Be not conformed to this world; but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God." I didn't think much about it until I'm sitting at the kitchen table at Mom and Dad's and The Daily Devotional Guide, 'The Upper Room.' is lying there. Well, I pick it up turn to that day's devotional and right before my very eyes. "Be not conformed to this world." Being the Bible scholar that I am I immediately asked my Dad what does renewing of your mind mean exactly and how in the world do you do that?! His response was this: "stay in the word!" The Bible is the map for your life. You would not set out on a road trip without your map, why do you think you can live your life without a guide. The next twist to the story. My Bible study this week was about God's word. The Bible is God breathed! This is how God speaks to us. How are we gonna know what he is saying if we are not taking the time to read it?

3 down 3 to go!

2006-03-07T18:20:00.000-06:00

Three treatments down and three to go! I feel so blessed that I have not been sick and I continue to feel strong. I have been able to take care of my family and pretty much carry on with all normal activities. I'm starting to get a little anxious about going back to Houston.

However, I'm trying not to think about it just yet. Just trying to "Press On" as Steve L said in his blog. The Bible is filled with verses encouraging us to persevere, Little by little, and not by our might or our strength, but by his Spirit. You just never know how close you are to your miracle. Remember I said we all going to be better through this journey. So please keep fighting the good fight. Don't give up and our new phrase for the day- "Press On"

Kim

God's Abundant Blessings

2006-02-24T19:28:00.000-06:00

I go through times when I have nothing to report and then it seems I'm over flowing with things to say. God just continues to bless me and my family. I took my third treatmeant this past Friday, and as of Saturday night, I've never felt better. I get to take this next week off. I'm very excited about that. In fact, almost as excited as winning the freezer of food at charity ball last weekend. For thoes of you who don't know, Mark and I won a freezer packed with over 90 different kinds of food items. Can you believe how good God is? As a friend said, "See, God even cares what we have for dinner."

Still not sick!

2006-02-18T09:36:00.000-06:00

I had my second treatment yesterday and did not want to tell the world how great I felt for fear of how I would feel today. So, I am happy to report this morning I still feel good. Not sick one bit. In fact I had a big breakfast in celebration of just how great I do feel. I'm so grateful to God for another day. I did start thinking to myself "is it working?" Maybe I'm feeling so good because it's not working. Satan starts to flood my mind and then I remember God's silence does not mean he is not working.

As Satan was flooding my mind with thoughts of this chemo not working, I have been reminded this week of things going on in people's lives that makes Cancer seem so insignifiacnt. My children are outside playing in the snow as happy as can be. Not one concern in the world. I find myself thinking how nice to be a child again with no worries or concerns. 20 degrees outside and they could not be happier. Heck, even if they get sick, I'll be there to tuck them in to bed, bring them chicken noodle soup and tell them it is going to be alright.

The thought as clear as day comes to mind. I have a Father who wants to do the very same thing for me. He told me he would tuck me in (Psalm 91:4 "He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart."), said he would bring me Chicken noodle soup (Matthew 6:31 "So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat? or What shall we drink? or even What shall we wear? For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.") and even tells me it is going to be alright (Psalm 34:4 "I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears.")

Let's let God be our Father and take care of us the way he wants to!

God answers prayer!

2006-02-12T16:33:00.000-06:00

Well, this past Friday I was able to receive my first of 6 chemotherapy treatments. I am going to have one next Friday and the Friday following that. I will get to take a break the week of Feb. 26th. and then start back up for the next 3 weeks in a row. After that I will go back to M.D. Anderson and they will monitor how the cancer is reacting to the chemo. Hopefully, it will be good news, and to be honest, I don't know what they will do next. I figure they are going to want to do some radiation. We will see. Right now I am taking it one day at a time, trying not to worry, but finding joy in today. O.K., does that make sense to you ? I'm not sure it does.

Now the part I love. Is God awesome or what! He has answered so many prayers. The latest one. I have not been sick even for one minute the whole weekend. I keep wondering if I am going to start to feel bad. So far so good. Next week may be a different story but today is great. Keep praying the chemo will get rid of all cancer cells in my body and my strength will continue. I will continue to pray for each person who reads this blog. He knows who you are and all your needs even before you do. As I read in one of my many books--and I'm sorry I don't know who said this but--Shut up and pray! It works we have seen it.

Love,
Kim

Sorry it took so long!

2006-02-08T22:48:00.000-06:00

What a day! M.D. Anderson had a few little details they wanted me to take care of today. So, after getting in late last night I had to be in the hospital first thing this morning and was there most of today. As far as I know, I think I'm ready to start my treatments. I see Dr. Scroggin on Friday and he may start then. I am so thankful to God for answering our prayers. The cancer is still localized and they have a drug that they can give me here in Jonesboro. As far as how I am going to react to this particlar treatment, I don't really know. They have such good anti-nauseau medication and medications that can be taken to combat the side effects, I feel cofident I'm going to do fine. I am a little nervous but am going to try very hard to find the joy in every day. (please remind me of this in a few weeks).

God has brought good from this in so many ways. I'm still believing in complete and total healing. It may not have come in the form of a miracle, but it will come through very dedicated Doctors and medications and the prayers of 100's of people. We have seen God reveal himself many times through this. Look what we have seen him do. God wants to reveal himself to every single person who is willing to accept it and he does not want it to be in the middle of a crisis before we get it.

Thank you guys for being such caring, wonderful people who have done exactly what God intended us to do "to love your neighbor as yourself!"

Stand-in Blogger

2006-02-08T11:45:00.000-06:00

Kim and I got back late last night from Houston and spent most of our time touring Texas airports, so she hasn't had much time to let you know what's going on. Here's where I come in. Just the facts, the scripture revelations, I'll leave to her.

Generally, we got a very good report. The cancer is still localized in her shoulder, with no sign of spreading. The better news, for us, is that we're going to be able to take the first round of chemo here in Jonesboro. Kim is at the Surgery Center right now (around noon) having surgery to repair her port (it's not going the direction it needs to) so she can begin the treatments immediately, we think it will start next week.

The treatments will be every week for eight weeks. Then we'll go back to Houston for another round of scans to see what effect the chemo had on the cancer that is still there. Depending upon that-- surgery, radiation and possibly another follow-up chemo treatment will be on the horizon.

On a side note, apparently Kim's thyroid gland had stopped working at some point. The doctor said that in the patients MD Anderson has seen that have had this happen (not very often, only a very few), the response to chemo has been dramatically better and they're just now trying to figure out why. This, Kim declares, is a "God thing."

Thank you again for all of your prayers and concerns. We're seeing it at work in our lives daily.

Mark

Mark and I went to see Joel.

2006-02-01T21:23:00.000-06:00

We just got back from a pep rally for God. I made Mark go to Lakewood Church tonight to see Joel Osteen. He was there and did a little prep work, but his sister preached. The music was AWESOME. (Almost as good as home.) What you don't see on television is the congregation rockin out. One of the songs we sang--your not gonna believe this but--was the words from the verse Isaiah 40:31. As I write this I'm thinking I have gotten that verse in some form or fashion just about everyday I have been here.

I better go, tomorrow is a long day!

testing, testing, testing...

2006-02-01T17:18:00.000-06:00

This place is so incrediable! Yesterday I met with my Doctor and he seems very hopeful. He ordered a battery of test to be run over the course of the next few days. I will meet with him again on Tuesday of next week and we will go over all the results of these test. Tomorrow is going to be a long one, the first CT scan starts at 7:10. I really don't know anything more today than I did when I got here, but will know a lot more on Tuesday after I have seen my Doctor and all the test have been completed.

I just want to say Thank you from the bottom of my heart to everyone. All your concern and prayers will never be forgotten. I wish I could hug every single one of you. My prayer is that God will bless you as you have blessed me. I'm sorry I did not blog this yesterday I got so excited about the woman from Equador! I miss home and can't wait to be back. Will blog soon.

Much love,
Kim

Riding the Shuttle Bus!

2006-01-31T21:15:00.000-06:00

O.K. this can not wait! I'm busting to tell this story! Tonight, Mark and I took the shuttle bus to get something to eat. We are staying in the Rotary House which is connected to M.D.Anderson. So everyone on the shuttle is a patient or with a patient from M.D. Anderson. On the way back a girl from Equador got seated next to me. We got to talking and she proceeds to tell me about her mother. In Equador on Dec. 22 her mother went to the Doctor because she was having a hard time breathing. Long story short, they found a tumor attached to the bottom of her heart. They were able to operate in her country but had to leave some of the tumor because of the bleeding. They sent her here to see what they could do. She has had every test they could do and the tumor cannot be found. It is gone! Did you hear me the tumor is gone! My mouth just dropped open. I said you mean it is gone? "Yes, It's gone. " God still makes miracles! I asked the girl what she thinks about the situation and she said, You have to pray a lot.

Here I go!

2006-01-31T09:20:00.000-06:00

Well, Here I go! I'm so nervous I can hardly walk. This place is so huge, M.D. Anderson employs about 63,000 people. O.K. I just glanced at my watch and it is on upside down. My tour director is telling me we have to go.

Love to all,
Kim

I'm here

2006-01-30T20:30:00.000-06:00

The day finally arrived and we are in Houston! I told Mark as I began to pack that it felt like '“The Great Escape'” party in college when you packed your suitcase and took it to the party with you in case you won the trip. The problem is you didn'’t know where the trip was going. I do know where I'’m going but I don'’t know what to take, how long I'll be there or what 70 degrees is really like. Is 70 degrees short sleeve and a jacket, or long sleeves. Can any one out there identify? O.K. I will stop rambling.

God is so good and this morning he proved it again. I always tell him he better write it on the side of a barn if he wants me to get what he is trying to tell me. No, I did not see something on the side of a barn, although I would not put it past God. But, when I heard the news that I was going to have to fight the cancer battle again, on one of my many trips to the storehouse, I picked up Stormie Omartian'’s book "The Power of The Praying Husband." This book has prayers that the husband prays each day for about a month for his wife. I could not wait to share with you the prayer that was to be read for me today. It was my protection! I am quoting the last paragraph of the prayer written by Stormie that was to be prayed today. "Our greatest effort can'’t keep us well forever. Even on the best teams, the quarterback still gets sacked. God knew this, and that's why He sent Jesus as our Healer. So ask for healing on behalf of your wife. And don'’t stop praying until you see an answer. We can't afford to give up too soon when it comes to our health." After each chapter she has a Prayer Power and in the Prayer Power, it says to pray that when she passes through deep waters, You will be with her, when she passes through the rivers, they will not overflow her. When she walks through the fire, she shall not be burned nor shall the flame scorch her (Isaiah43)

My devotional for today was out of the 'One Year book of devotions for women' by Jill Briscoe. The title for the Jan. 30 devotion was 'Going Around Jericho.' I can tell you that it is so possible to laugh and cry at the exact same time. Because I did! One particular sentence got hold of me. Until that great day when our particular Jericho falls, God grants us the perseverance and the endurance to go "once around Jericho" with our God and fellow travelers in the faith-believing that however high the walls, fortified the gates, or strong the enemy, it's only a matter of time. I think we all will agree God is revealing himself over and over again. He has led me to particular scriptures over and over again. What caught me in that sentence is the word believing. We have to believe. Not just say we believe, but heart, soul and mind believe that his plan is perfect. Believe that this cancer in me is part of his plan, Believe that he loves my children more that Mark and I do, Believe just like Abraham did, just like Daniel did, and Joshua. This is not new stuff, The only difference is it's cancer and not a lion or Goliath. It's every bit as scary. I pray every day and night 'God please help me believe.' I believe in God, that's easy. What's hard is believing 'is anything really too hard for God?' The answer is No!

Thank you God for giving me a man who will pray for me and that loves me 4 children later and bald.

God is good all the time and all the time God is good!

2006-01-25T19:30:00.000-06:00

It is so hard to "blog" something after God reveals himself like he did in the last post. I mean what can you say after God has spoken! Anything I could even remotely begin to say, I just think O.K., what's the point.

I do want to tell the ladies in my Wed. morning Bible study how much I love you guys. You have been there from the very beginning when I received the phone call the first time! I still believe it no coincidience our study that particular morning was Peace. Please blog me if Beth says something I need to hear--or one of her Big Texas hair comments! As far as I know everything is on go for Monday. I will blog from Houston. I am getting a bit anxious and just ready to get going. Keep your comments coming, I love them and so many others have commented how they are drawing strength from people they don't even know. I can feel your prayers they are undoubtly giving me the peace beyond all understanding.
Love you all. Kim

He's Listening!!!

2006-01-20T21:00:00.000-06:00

Well, he was listening to you today. My appointment has been scheduled for January 31st at 9:00 a.m. I'm so ready to get the ball rolling, or as the kids would say; let's get this party started! We'll have to be there until at least Saturday, maybe into next week, they say plan to stay 5 to 7 business days.

When I write something, most times I have felt very strongly about writing what God wants me to write. I'm not a journalist nor a preacher, although my kids would argue the latter lately. I just want all of us through this journey to become better, and challenge ourselves to do something (with God) that we never thought we could do. Lots of you have mentioned my Faith and inspirition. It's God carrying me every step of the way. It's interesting because when I feel my well start to run dry, he will reveal himself again and remind me he is God and I am not, and I fall in love all over again.

Several days ago my Dad was on the phone and had mentioned some scripture verses that he wanted me to read. I quickly jotted these down hoping to get to them after the kids had gone to bed. Well, that was about 3 days ago. Today in the pick up line I had just a few minutes before the kids were to get in and I called Dad to ask him what those verses were. He read them to me over the phone and was still reading as the kids were getting into the car. By the way, the bell rings at 3:05. The kids were busting to all talk so he told me to go home and read. As I walked in, I noticed a blog that had been sent while I was gone. It immediately caught my eye. "The Lord is the everlasting God. The creator of the ends of the Earth." To steal the words from my sister drumroll please...That was the exact Bible verse my Dad was reading to me over the phone around 3:05 and Karla's post of that same verse is at 3:08. NOW THAT IS GOD! I get so excited, He knew I needed to hear him today. God is so good.

I called my Dad and told him he better sit down for this one. I told him this story and and we both just couldn't believe the timing. I hung up and walked outside to talk with a friend, and told her the same story. As I'm walking in, my phone started ringing. Its my Dad. I answer the phone. On the other end I hear "You're the one that needs to sit down this time." He had cleaned out a bookshelf today, and after talking with me, had gone to put the books back on the shelf. He put several away and noticed one with a bookmark in it. He opens it up looks down and what do you think he sees..."The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but thoes who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."

I could not make something this good up. God is the best high you can get. Please let him put you on one.

Houston, we still have a problem!

2006-01-20T08:30:00.000-06:00

Would somebody please phone God and tell him we are getting a bit impatient. When you know when my appointment is, will you let me know. They say laughter is the best medicine and my prescription is running low!

Still waiting, Love Kim

Still Waiting!!!

2006-01-17T21:20:00.000-06:00

I still haven't heard anything!! I promise the minute I get my marching orders I wil let you know!! Just keep praying, because I know prayer works. It has been nice to have this week and just be normal, whatever normal is around the McNabb household. The kids did not want to go to bed tonight because after watching American Idol, they think they are the next American idol. I love hearing from you guys! It's been so great to hear from so many people from so many different phases of my life. I can't even begin to express how humbling it is and how grateful I am for each of you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all the support you have shown me. With so many people supporting me, I'm encourged that I can beat this thing. So many people have expressed how awesome M.D. Anderson is. I feel very confident about going there and I am anxious to hear something from them. Thanks for checking in, we'll talk soon.

Kim

Waiting is the hardest part

2006-01-16T09:05:00.000-06:00

O.K., the waiting is going to put me over the edge. I have to tell you yesterday was hard. Gray and cold outside and I found myself hearing things I did not want to hear. I spent so much time trying to heal myself that I did not find joy in the day. I tried to take the wheel again! (I love the song by Carrie Underwood," Jesus take the wheel") I went to bed mentally and physically exhausted because I tried to do something that, not matter how hard I try, I cannot do. I guess sometimes we have to live something before it becomes obvious what God is saying to us. Like, when he says "Come to me all you who labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest," Matthew 11:28. Why is this so hard? It is so easy to say yes, 'I believe in God.' I know he died for my sins, was beaten up for me, crucified and died for me but, we say "I'm sorry Jesus, I just can't give this particular problem to you, I know what I need to do better than you do." We are so human, and God is so not. I realized the blog has in some way become my 'Diary' which some of you may not understand but, boy it is so theruputeic for me. Thanks Jonesboro. Don't loose joy in your day today, because you're worried about tomorrow. Be strong, take heart and wait for the Lord. Psalm 27:14. I read this saying one time and I have always loved it: His help is always sure, His methods seldom guessed; Delay will make our pleasure pure; Surprise will give it zest. His widsom is sublime, His heart profoundly kind; God is never before his time, And never is behind. Take God to work, coffee, mowing the yard and find joy where you find yourself today. I'm gonna try to do better today! I love you guys. Thanks for listening.
Kim

Houston, we have a problem.

2006-01-12T22:23:00.000-06:00

Wow! What a day. To sum it all up, I'm headed to M.D. Anderson in Houston. We're just waiting on the date when I can go and see these guys. As one of my doctors said today, the first chemo treatment we used "we were swatting flies with a sledge hammer." They're a little surprised it didn't work, so now we're going to find an even bigger sledge hammer.

While initially, it sounds horrible, I was really encouraged by their comments. They both really feel like it's treatable, it's just a matter of finding the right mix of drugs. So if there is one prayer I'd ask for, it's that the doctors do find that combination, and the lymph nodes begin to shrink. I have another appointment with a doctor tomorrow for even more input. The more the better. We'll be home Friday night and we can't wait to see the kids.

PS. If you haven't had a mammogram, go get one. The technology available today is incredible. At least check yourself out, and don't give me that "I wouldn't know it if I felt it" excuse.

Keep marching

2006-01-12T07:04:00.000-06:00

When I called my friend Donald with my news of the Cancer he told me I needed to start preparing myself mentally and physically for a fight. I loved the analogy then but, the more days and the more Doctors appointments that come and go it is becoming clear to me what he means. This morning I feel like I am going into a fight. I do not want to go because every time I go I feel like I get beat up. They say scary things they of course have to say, but none the less, things that you feel like your legs won't carry you across the room. I loved what one blogger said about being in Joshua's army. You know how scary the opposite army is and you know in reality they can win, but that is when you go back to the Bible and read With God all things are possible. God just asked them to show up and march, I wonder if they were scared too? However, they kept showing up and kept showing up and marching. I read some of your blogs from some of you that I know what your fight is, and some of you I don't know, but what I do know we all get the fight of our lives sometimes and really all we have to do is keep marching. I'm not naive to think that sometimes God says no, but sometimes he just wants us to trust him to keep marching.

my Little Rock appt.

2006-01-10T21:32:00.000-06:00

I met with Dr. Laura Hutchins today. She is very highly respected among her peers and I feel privileged to have gotten a chance to meet with her. She's both a teaching and research physician in oncology and so she has a real clinical view of this disease. She suggested some chemo that Dr. Scroggin will look into. The best solution, hopefully, is that Dr. Cross can remove it and then we can start radiation and chemo combinations.

Until we meet with Dr. Cross in Fayetteville, we just really don't know what the next step is. With your continued sweet prayers and support, I'll be ready to take it.

Love, Kim

God always reveals Himself if we believe

2006-01-09T22:35:00.000-06:00

Look at this picture I found recently

2006-01-09T20:57:00.000-06:00

Wow! I'm overwhelmed with all the wonderful words of encouragement and all the love and prayers that I can truly feel. I'm so blessed! The blog was intended to let you guys know how things are going and to kinda let you know if I needed anything. I quickly realized that when people are sharing straight from their heart that everyone who reads these blogs is receiving such a blessing. In my last round with cancer, call me crazy but I saw God reveal himself in so many different ways. There have been many times I thought O.K. God there you are again. Well, let me tell you he did it again today. I never cease to be amazed by his wonderous ways. Believe this or not but here goes.

I keep all my photographs in a little container down in the den, well over the Christmas Holidays the kids had gotten into the pictures and they of course were everywhere. I had asked the kids to pick them up and they had at least tried. When I came into the den this picture here of me and a couple of my buddies from a trip I took four years ago to New York City stood out. It was in front of the little church at the 9/11 Site. I immediately noticed the cross that appeared to be sitting on my shoulder. I thought how neat, and noticed the verse that is on the banner right behind me Isaiah 43:2. I quickly ran to my Bible and even showed my mom and read the verse to her. It reads like this...When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire,you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. You can see in the picture the part of the verse when you walk through the fire, you will not be burned. It really did bring me comfort that day. Well, today I ran into the Storehouse to pick up something and turned around and Carol Cone was standing there ordering a book. As we were talking, there was this little ceramic loaf of bread with Bible verses in there. I bet there were maybe 50. I just reached down and randomly picked one. I nearly fainted. I read When thou walkest through the fire thou will not be burned. It was one of those moments when I thought O.K., God you are just letting me know your still there.

I had left my cell phone in the car and noticed when I got back, there was a voicemail from my sister-in-law. I immediately called her to tell her about the Bible verse that God had wanted me to hear today. She was silent I thought she didn't hear me. I bet you can guess what Bible verse she had just read this morning in her Bible: Isaiah 43:2. Take it for what it is but I don't really believe in coincidence but I do know that God is good all the time,and 4 years ago he knew I needed that verse for today.

I have an appointment with Dr. Laura Hutchins in Little Rock tomorrow at 12:30p.m. She has come highly recommended by both my Doctor here and in Fayetteville. I truly hope to know more after talking to her about what the next step is going to be.

I'm not sure now If they will be able to operate or if I'll just start the chemo. Pray for safety and wisdom for the doctors so we can have peace with the best treatment they see fit. Will let you know what I find out tomorrow. Kim

in my quiet time

2006-01-07T16:24:00.000-06:00

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on our own understanding. Someone else sent me the very same verse in a note yesterday. I too was listening to K-love and will do a lousy job paraphrasing this, but basically they said when you live your life for Christ you better hang on for the ride. Mark and I both joked we would like off the ride for a few minutes or days maybe. We sure don't know why or what he is up to, but I do know his plan is perfect. He didn't say go now and have a good time,as a friend put it to me in the pick up line the other day, he says in Matthew 16:24-25 "if anyone would come after me he must DENY HIMSELF and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it. Man I'm exhausted just reading it. When I go back and read what I've written it sounds like I'm so brave and strong and not afraid of this. So let me just clarify something I am scared to death but trying so hard to cling to the Lord with all my heart and lean not on my own understanding. Carol Cone and I have a saying we use quite often: this is not our home. Tell the ones you love how much they mean to you and I think God is smiling on all the people sharing how good God is and supporting each other. I believe it is what He intends.
Much love,
Kim,

Clarifying things...

2006-01-07T10:47:00.000-06:00

I try my best when I'm listening to my doctors to really understand what is going on in me. Of course, after the words cancer and chemo, things always seem to get fuzzy, so I hope you know I'm trying my best to relay what I think I'm hearing to you in the most accurate way I can. The more I learn, the better I'll be about posting this stuff.

I'm lovin' this blog thing

2006-01-07T09:12:00.000-06:00

Wow! I feel like I can conquer anything now with God's help--hey I learned how to blog! I've realized I have been a real inspiration to my brother-in-law. He wants a blog of his own! I woke up this morning and for a brief second, I forgot what was happening in my life. Reality starts flooding my thoughts. I asked God for complete and total healing and I refuse to believe otherwise. All I have to do to be uplifted is come to this site and read your kind, encouraging words - not once, not twice but over and over and over!!!!! Thank you!

Love,
Kim

P.S. Chris, there's a LITTLE cinnamon thingy still left if you want some!

The results are in from the CAT scan

2006-01-06T17:41:00.000-06:00

I just got off the phone with Dr. Scroggin and here is what's going on! The scan shows 4 or 5 lymph nodes under my pectoral (underarm/shoulder) muscle on the chest wall that are suspect. After Dr. Scroggin consulted with the breast surgeon in Fayetteville, I'm going to go to Fayetteville for another MRI and to discuss a possible surgery option. It may require removing part of that muscle. Chemotherapy is in my future, but they're looking to other specialists to consult the best possible scenerio of drugs.

My appointment in Fayetteville is next Thursday and Friday. We're just now trying to make arrangements for the trip.

I want you to know how much faith and confidence I have in my doctors. They're awesome, and if you see Dr. Carol Scroggin, Dr. David Phillips or Dr. Mark Newman out and about, please tell them thanks for taking such good care of me.

I also want you to know I want to hear from you. Write here or call me. You'll never know how much your kind words and thoughts mean to me and my family.

I've laughed and cried and then laughed and cried some more. Most of you know me, so it's a pretty typical day around our household! ;)

I love you all, and will post more later. Kim

still waiting

2006-01-06T14:08:00.000-06:00

You can't believe how your kind words and prayers are sustaining me! I just walked in the door from the CAT scan after grabbing a bite (the barium bananna smoothie just didn't do it for me). I promise I will let you know what they tell me as soon as I know. I'm nervous about what they are going to say, but no matter what they tell me I'm here to fight!

My PET Scan results

2006-01-06T06:35:00.000-06:00

I know this may seem a bit over-the-top with a web site, but I feel so blessed that so many people have responded the way they have. For those of you who know me, you know this is in no way to glorify myself or my children, but to relay information to so many wonderful people who want to know how I am doing.
So here is the latest.....my PET scan results from Thursday. It is a good news bads news sort of thing. The good news being it is not all over my body! The bad news is it is in some lymph nodes in my shoulder area. The PET scan really only shows if there is cancer in your body and llghts up red where it is. So today at 11:00 a.m. I am going in for a CAT scan that will show us a more detailed area in my shoulder and be able to tell us more about what we are dealing with. Please continue to pray for me. I know prayer works-I've seen it daily-and I will fight this fight as long as I have to.

I set this blog up for Kim...

2006-01-06T05:35:00.000-06:00

...so that she can share information she's getting back from her doctors (and hopefully you'll continue to share your thoughts and prayers with her).

Thank you for your prayers and concerns. You cannot fathom how blessed we feel for the prayers we've received. --Mark

She'll take it from here. ;)

Kim and the kids

2006-01-06T05:32:00.000-06:00